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Social Bars: Chic & Chicks. Where to Meet Women with Sophistication & Class

Social Bars

NOTE: you should understand that I am not referring to “bars,” “sports bars,” “pubs,” or “pool halls.”

(Quality) Single women do not hang around these places, TRUST ME! Plus, any women you find there will more than likely have come with her boyfriend (who is probably lurking somewhere in the background waiting to see who’s going to try to flirt with his girl).

Chic (shek)
definition: Conforming to the current fashion; stylish.

If the nightclub scene is a little too busy for you (blaring music, large crowds, having to “yell” over the loud music in order to communicate), then social bars might be your best alternative. Often referred to as a “jazz cafe,” “speakeasy,” or “lounge,” these places tend to be very laid back, and very, very trendy (or chic).

The Atmosphere

Social bars are set up for, you guessed it, SOCIALIZING! That’s the reason why the music will not be as loud as in a nightclub, nor will you find people dancing wildly on a dance floor.

People gather here to chat with one another while sipping martinis, champagne, and mojitos (don’t worry, you can still order your “jack and coke here, but do expect the drinks to be a tad bit more expensive…) while listening to soft music in the styles of “Smooth Jazz, “R&B,” and “Soft Rock (think artist like “Dido,” “Dave Matthew’s Band,” Sugar Ray,” “Hootie & the Blowfish,” etc.).”

Some social bars even have live bands performing (remember the scene in “Spiderman 3” were Mary Jane becomes a jazz lounge singer?) or poetry readings.

Also, in contrast to nightclubs, it is perfectly okay to eat and buy drinks for females at a social bar. The environment is setup for this.

As far as eating, you won’t be served a full course meal, but most social bars have what they call a “bar & grill,” so you can order drinks and snack on buffalo wings and such.

As far as buying a drink for a female, you don’t have to worry about her taking your drinks and running (a*K*a the old “gulp-n-go” like the story I told you about with nightclubs). Most of the women in social bars tend to be more mature, and they want/expect you to recognize this.

And with this, you should understand that the women who go to social bars are on a different page/level of sophistication than the women who go to nightclubs.

The Women of Social Bars

It is not my intention to intimidate you, but you must understand that most of the women who go to social bars are of the upper echelon of society, or in other words: “they’ve got their sh*t together!”

They tend to be older (25 and up; and because of this, they tend to be more mature than the younger females who mostly frequent nightclubs), college graduates, and either just starting out or already deeply rooted in their professions (nurses, lawyers, accountants, programmers, small business owners, etc).

It is also because of this that they will be very selective about the men they date. These women are at the stage in their lives where they are looking to settle down with someone who also has their sh*t together, so you WILL be asked about what it is you do (career-wise).

If you just happen to be still in school working on your bachelors degree or working for minimum wage, she may not be interested in even considering dating you.

The reason why?

You know, I know, and she knows what it is like to be a struggling (read “broke”) college student. She also knows that wage work offers little or no chances for advancement (well, maybe a “supervisor” position, but it’s only a couple of bucks more for a non-degree holder).

She is not looking to have to carry a man on her back while he “gets it together.” And even if you profess to her that you don’t need her money, the thought of you ever needing/asking her for money will always linger in the back of her mind.


  • 1) If you happen to run into let’s say, an RN (Registered Nurse), and you just happen to be going to school for Nursing (or even curious about what a Nurse does), then right there is something the two of you have in common and can talk about.

    She might be able to give you a few pointers (over dinner, of course) on what to expect once you graduate, which hospitials are the best to work at, what’s Nursing actually like out in the field, etc.

  • 2) And most important of all: If she is very attracted to you in the first place, it doesn’t matter if you flip burgers at McDonald’s, or shine shoes for a living; because she’s attracted to you!


I was at a social bar the Sunday before New Years Eve, and I happened to meet a lady who turned out to be a “keeper” (see Nightclub Rules: Rule #4 for what a “keeper” is). All of the proper body language signals where present: direct eye contact while we talked, and she also had her body completely turned towards me, signaling that I had her complete and undivided attention.

As our conversation continued, I found our a few details such as:

  • She was four years older than I was
  • Masters Degree and a job that pays very, very well
  • Well, I told her my age, and that I was still in school working on my Bachelors Degree. And guess what? It didn’t matter one bit because she was attracted to me in the first place!

    We continued to talk with each other for the rest of the night until her friend came to fetch her for them to leave. At that point we exchanged phone numbers, and as of this writing, we have already talk over the phone (the conversation was phenomenal), and are meeting for lunch next Saturday!

    (Note: If you are every in this situation, in where the eye contact, body language, and conversation is working out perfectly, THEN YOU MUST TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO ASK HER FOR HER PHONE NUMBER!! Most women will not just come out and offer it to you. You must be “man-enough” to ask for it, and she will be very glad you were “man-enough” to ask! If you ever let an opportunity like this slip away, I can promise you: YOU WILL REGRET IT FOREVER!! Our minds tend to never let us forget about the good things…)

    Again, (not to sound like a broken record) do not be intimidated by these places! Just be upfront with these women about yourself.

    They don’t know you, nor your potential. Plus, not everyone is college material, or ever plans on going to college. You don’t need me to tell you of all the successful billionaires that dropped out or never went to college (Click here to see who’s on the list!).

    Style of Dress

    Very, very chic. This is the one place where you WILL see guys dressed in Armani suites with a Rolex on wrist, chicks carrying Gucci handbags that match the color of her Prada skirt and boots, etc, etc.

    You do not want to come under-dressed because you will stick out like a sore thumb. There are even some social bars that will not even admit you if you are not dressed properly (meaning, when slacks, a button-up, and a tie may not do…).


    You will find that the women in social bars are the most down-to-earth females you could possibly ever meet. You can always find something to talk with them about since most of them make it their business to stay current with news and current events (got to have something to talk about around the water cooler at work).

    Also keep in mind: you don’t have to try to keep up with the “Jones” when it comes to dressing for a social club. Most people there can afford to dress in expensive clothing because their salaries afford them to have more disposable income.

    But they’ve still got student loans, car loans, and rent to pay!

    Don’t go broke trying to keep up! Casual attire is just fine. Just keep in mind that every social bar is different. Don’t lose sight of you main goal which is to meet women, not to compete in a fashion show.

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