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Reading Body Language Gone Wrong: When Actions Speak Louder Than Words


I PROMISE YOU: Reading body language is neither as hard as it may seem, nor as easy as it may sound. There will be times in where you may mistakenly assume there is “something” there, when in fact there is “nothing” there in the first place.

Let me show you an important example of how reading body language can sometimes be misleading.

Social Bar Blunder, Continued

As I was saying in my story from Dating Tips for Approaching Women with Confidence 2 (see “Rejection in Disguise” section), I was completely off the mark a few Sunday’s ago at a social bar I visited.

It was still a bit early (about 10:00pm) and the place was still pretty empty (things don’t get “started” until about (11:00pm).

As I was ordering a drink from the bar, I noticed two women seated on one of the couches towards the back of the room. After doing what appeared to be “exchanging glances” (reading body language) from the one I was interested in, I made my way over to them and introduced myself.

Now, both of these two women were very, very attractive. But I went over with only the one I was eying from the bar in mind.

The three of us begin to converse while we drank, and as begin to flirt with woman #1 (the one I thought I was exchanging glances with from the bar) I began to notice a few things in regard to reading body language, from the both of them:

Reading Body Language From Woman #1 (the initial target)

  • Whenever she asked me questions or answered any of my questions, she would look at me just long enough to ask or answer, then look off in another direction and begin (or continue) to move her body to the music.
  • There were a good number of times in where she would just turn to her friend and begin a conversation (leaving me to feel as if I wasn’t there).
  • The thing that threw me off was the fact that she WAS all smiles when talking with me, and there was direct eye-to-eye contact, but not the intimate type of contact I would come to experience from Woman #2

Now as I said, I initially came over to engage woman #1, and had not even noticed much about woman #2. But, as I sat talking with the both of them, I REALLY begin to pick up lots of signals from the second female (keep in mind, woman #2 was just as/if not MORE attractive as woman #1).

Body Language From Woman #2

  • When this woman looked at me, it was as if she was looking right into my f*cking soul!

    I admit that it made me a little uncomfortable at first because it happened so unexpectedly. I didn’t want to stare back too much at woman #2 because I didn’t want to come off to woman #1 as a “player” who was trying to get with both of them. And even at first I had assumed woman #2 was looking at me so hard because she suspected me of being just another “player” trying to play her friend (women will try to protect their friends from “players” and “dogs”).

    But no, something was different with her.

    Whenever she asked me questions she would look directly at me, CONTINUED to look at me as I answered, AND CONTINUED to look at me after I finished, as if to see if I had more to say.

    There was DEFINITELY an intimate connection between the two of us!

TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT: I spent a good portion of the night exchanging non-intimate conversation with woman #1.

There was a point in where she got up to go to the restroom, leaving me and girl #2 together on the couch. Girl #2 gets up to go get some water from the bar, but comes back to the couch and sits soo close to me that I could’ve turned my head and my nose would’ve been in her cheek

As we talked (in such close proximity) to one another, she would always make it a point to turn to me and look me in the eyes.

Here’s the part where I fudged up:

Letting my ego get the best of me, I was determined to still conquer girl #1.

So what do I do?

Exactly what I shouldn’t have done: I make the mistake of asking girl #2 about girl #1.

What happens next?

Woman #2: Why? Are you trying to get with her?

At that point, I saw that “connection” between the two of us simply evaporate into thin air.

This “Reading Body Language Gone Wrong” story ends with girl #2 pretty much remaining “distant” from me for the rest of the night, I end up asking girl #1 for her phone number and she gives me the old “I don’t give out my number for security reasons. Why don’t you give me yours?” (from the rhythmic pattern in which she said this clearly indicated to me that she’s used this line before), and still no phone call to this day.

But I wasn’t expecting one. As I told you from Approaching Women with Confidence 2, if a woman ever tells you this, forget about her ever calling you.

So as you can tell by now, a good portion of mastering the art of dating is by learning from another’s experience (read “mistake”).

Click here part 2 of Reading Body Language: The Basics


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